All this week the Boy and the Blonde’s elementary school have been in the throws of a Fun Run fundraiser. I sat my children down when the first flyers came home in their backpacks and said, “Here’s the deal.. mommy is fortunate enough to be able to volunteer at your school. I give my time; so we won’t be killing ourselves to give them money as well.” They both nodded their heads in perceived agreement.
“Is this a bandwidth issue?” the Boy responded. Um yes. The critical piece in this story is my children had no monetary skin in the game, and yet despite that reality they were both still eager to participate in the actual run.
If you’ve been following my blog this fall you may recall the Boy has been having some trouble and discomfort with his joints. We are still in the process of getting some things assessed and tested, but up until this point I have not stormed the walls of the school demanding they modify his fitness plan. I have allowed him to do what he felt comfortable doing. Who was I to place my own self imposed limitations onto a child with a positive attitude and a can-do spirit…was my thought? I committed to take my lead from him.
Over breakfast on the final day of the Fun Run, I again reminded the children they were free to run, walk, or simply cheer on their peers by participating merely as moral support.
My son, ever the unicorn of optimism chimed in, “Oh I’m totally going to crush this. I feel strong and I think this is going to be a good day.” Well… how could I argue with that?
Stepping off the bus that afternoon, I could see he was disappointed and his mood had changed.
“What’s with the face?” I asked.
“Well….today did not go as planned. I didn’t participate in the run at all. My legs were hurting too much and so my teacher just had me watch,” he informed me.
“Ah I’m sorry buddy. I know you were excited to at least try.” I replied.
“The real kicker is I watched everything next to this kid… in a wheel chair….who was born with one less vocal cord,” he began, “and he was a good reminder of all the things I can do.”
People….would I wish discomfort and limitation onto my or any other child? Obviously I would not, but the truth is by the simple hand he appears to be dealt my son will not get to do everything this peers can. He is going to be different, and its simply a reality.
Could I mourn that fact, and wish he had all the same options available to him that other kids had? Sure.
The lesson I was reminded of today; however, is my son is perfect just the way he is. Fitting in may seem easier at times, but it’s not by default a better way to navigate the world, and it’s certainly not the well spring of future leaders.
Leaders, innovators, creators all are born out of struggle or adversity. To make a process better, to see a product born, those kinds of individuals had to rise above and fight a little harder than the rest. Their struggle taught them to push for what they want.
Do I wish my sons life were a little easier?? Maybe…and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t… but honestly when I look at my son’s face I wouldn’t change him for a minute.
His spirit is strong, his joy contagious, and his presence a gift in my life. I think thats perfect.
Summer Smith is a speaker, writer, and motherhood blogger. She and her family are currently navigating the suburbs of Northern Virginia. As the mother to four young children, Summer maintains her sanity thanks to her sense of humor, copious amounts of coffee, and Amazon Prime. Maya Angelou once said, when reflecting on her childhood, that her mother left an impression like technicolor stars in the midnight sky. Influenced by these words, Summer blogs at her website Motherhood in Technicolor, and can also be found on her Motherhood in Technicolor Facebook page.