The Fatherhood Extrapolation

In mathematics, extrapolation is the process of estimating, beyond the original observation range, the value of a variable on the basis of its relationship with another variable. This term can also be applied to human interaction through a process where one uses their past experience to predict future relational outcomes.

When the mother and father were dating, the father freely informed the mother that he wanted to one day have six children. Raised essentially as an only child, with two much older half siblings, the mother wondered if the father might not possess some sort of romanticized notion about the wonder of having a large family and often steered him towards the direction of the much safer and more logical two child family dynamic.

The mother, after nearly five years of marriage, began to sense she and the father were becoming rather comfortable in their childless state, and thought that perhaps they should introduce a dog into the mix as a litmus test of selflessness and accountability before considering the shift to the role of parents. For as all couples know, a dog is the gateway drug towards dependents and it was not long after acquiring the puppy, the mother realized she was pregnant with their first child.

After the mother and father survived the first year with the boy, the father one day, most likely after realizing this whole fatherhood notion was a lot more work than he had first realized, informed the mother that she needed to love the boy a lot, because he was going to be their only child. The mother, not at all satisfied with this proposition, informed the father than the boy would be well served to have at least one sibling and not long after the father concurred. As fate would have it, the just one more sibling notion of course lead to three more, but that’s a story for another day. Let’s be honest though, once one has already committed themselves to a diminished social life and embraced the dark symbol of parenthood……the minivan…. you might as well fill that thing up.

Studies on parent-child relationships and child well-being extrapolate that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development of children and young adults.

Each morning the children systematically enter the mother and father’s room, and while the mother gets ready for the day in relative silence, the children find themselves engaged in a morning bonding ritual with their father. The father asks them how they slept the night before and inquires as to the things they dreamed about. The mother thinks that the boy might not fully understand the notion of dreams, as each day he consistently responds with Clone Wars as the subject matter of his previous night’s dreams. The mother is fairly certain the boy is not nightly ruminating upon aliens and futuristic space battles…..but then again she could be wrong.

On one such morning, the blonde nostalgically stated, “dad, do you remember the time we went to the zoo?” The father smiled and replied, “yes, I think I remember something about that.” “I think we need to go to the zoo…. again…. so my sisters can see the bunnies,” the blonde replied. The mother is amazed that even though a year has passed, the blonde with her super power levels of memory retention, seems to be able to recall, with great fondness and in some detail, the events of her first trip to the zoo at just two years old.

Moments later, the mother exits the bathroom and finds five sets of eyes all staring at her as she enters the room. “The children have informed me they would like for us to plan a trip to the zoo,” the father stated. The mother laughed and said, “I think that could be arranged….it is about that time again anyway.” The bed erupts with shouts of triumphant exuberance as if the children have discovered buried treasure. The mother glances at the father whom she can tell is bracing himself mentally for a weekend outing surrounded by nature, after which is sure to remind the father why he and nature have a limited interplay.

Each year the family seems to take one trip to a nearby zoo, which the mother should clarify is more of a petting zoo heavily weighted with farm animals like sheep, goats, pigs and rabbits, along with a smattering of reptiles, a troop of kangaroos, a handful of cows, one camel and a zebra. Last years annual trip fell on Fathers Day itself and this year’s excursion is only two weeks before Fathers Day. (The mother makes a mental note not to point out to the father she is greatly amused by the fact that the excursion they seem to continue to gravitate to, in parallel with celebrating his role as the father, is one where the father must witness once wild creatures, now living in docile confinement.)

Research shows that young children who have experienced high father involvement show an increase in curiosity. Equally relevant extrapolations reveal a fathers’ involvement in his children’s lives, seem to encourage a child’s exploration of the world around them and develop confidence in their ability to solve problems.

As the family enters the zoo over the weekend, they check in and load up with the appropriate tools for zoo visiting success. The boy chooses a small bucket of dried food from the desk with which to feed the animals, while the girls select small bottles of milk they can delightfully offer up to baby sheep and goats. The blonde is visibly quivering with sheer excitement in anticipation of the events about to unfold. The brunette is looking around skeptically as if uncertain if the parents might in fact be checking her in for permanent residence at the zoo.

They make their way towards the large barn, which houses dozens of sheep, goats and pigs. The baby looks on from her stroller with wide eyes as she witnesses for the first time live and rather vocal animals. The brunette runs towards the goats and squeals as she thrusts her hand directly inside the fence to pet her new mammal friends. In that moment, the mother is quite glad that the layout designers of the zoo, elected not to place the pigs near the entrance as they display a rather distressing sign on their corral which states, “do not feed the pigs with your hands…. they will bite.” Apparently pigs are not discerning animals when it comes to eating, a proclamation that is certainly noteworthy for parents with brave, animal loving children.

The boy, the blonde and the brunette are simply beside themselves with glee as the animals greet them with such enthusiasm and are quite literally eating out of the palm of their hands. The mother thinks it goes without question that the animals are more excited to receive the food the children are providing than the petting, and are thus willing to tolerate any number of shrill noises and sporadic hand movements made by the children as an unfortunate byproduct but necessary evil of food distribution.

After the purchased food is gone, the family make their way towards the reptile house. In the humid little shed which houses the snakes, spider’s, and lizards the boy simply states, “wow, these things are a little creepy.” The brunette adds, “I think this is too scary for me.” Strangely the blonde simply observes with peaked interest, her sibling’s adverse response to creatures who clearly were harmlessly separated from the group by glass. (The mother makes a mental note to recall this instance when the blonde is asked to do unspeakable things to a deceased frog in Biology class one day.)

Departing the reptile house, the family makes their way towards their ultimate destination….the pony ride exhibit. The year prior there had been tremendous sadness on the part of the blonde, who following a miscalculation by the parents on their chosen departure route, spotted the pony ride only to be met with ultimate devastation when the parents declared they had not purchased the tickets necessary for securing a ride on the aged pony. The mother vowed at that time, that at their next visit, the blonde would be granted her pony-riding wish.

What the parents had not considered however was the potential need to camp out in front of the pony ride, not unlike a concert with limited tickets, as they found themselves third in line behind a birthday party where the thirteen children in attendance all had the chance to ride the pony before the general public was granted the opportunity. Miraculously the children, clearly committed to this new pony riding experience, held on until it was their turn.

The boy led the pack, confidently he mounted the pony and as he rode around the corral it was clear he was taking the entire affair with all seriousness, based upon the focused expression on his face. The blonde donned her trademark look of skepticism coupled with a firmly planted scowl, but as she approached the horse, in spite of her expression, the mother noted the blonde did not once act like she would back down.

As the mother walked beside the blonde around the corral, the tiniest of smiles could be seen at the corner of her mouth. The mother found herself quite proud that the blonde, who often exhibited a great deal of shyness in public in other respects, was still quite determined and brave when it came to trying something new.

When it was finally her turn, the brunette was intellectually on board with the entire horse-riding notion…. that is until the mother placed her up onto the actual horse. The brunette instantly tensed, and glancing in the direction of her father, quickly voted the horse riding business was an adventure she would rather save for a later date.

The mother’s role in nurturing and caring for healthy, confident and well-adjusted children is ever so vital but they do not stay children forever. The father’s role, as one could extrapolate, is essential in the development of the person your child will ultimately become. Fathers are responsible for turning their children into healthy, confident and well-adjusted adults.

All in all the day was a success and as the family made their way back to the van, the mother and baby found themselves strolling a few steps behind the rest of the pack. The mother couldn’t help but smile as she looked at the father interacting with the older children. The mother realized in that moment, that even amidst their unique personalities, each of the children had traces of their beloved father within them.

The boy shares his father’s love of game strategy and his spirit of imagination.

The blonde shares her father’s love for learning and his spirit of ingenuity.

The brunette shares her father’s love of Lego engineering and his spirit of adventure.

The baby shares her father’s love of humor and his spirit of mischief.

The mother does not know what will lie ahead for her children but she does know that they adore their father and they are all better people for having him in their lives.

The Motherhood in Technicolor Memo: It doesn’t take expert extrapolation to see that the role of the father on his children today is not only essential it’s foundational to the people they become tomorrow. Each of us have memories of our childhood. No matter the nature of the memories they play a part in shaping the kind of person we will ultimately become. Being a father isn’t just about having children….it’s about leading by example….it’s about developing confidence…..it’s about harnessing problem solving skills…..it’s about igniting imagination….it’s about turning beloved children into extraordinary adults.

Author: Summer Smith

Summer Smith is a speaker, writer, and motherhood blogger. She and her family are currently navigating the suburbs of Northern Virginia. As the mother to four young children, Summer maintains her sanity thanks to her sense of humor, copious amounts of coffee, and Amazon Prime. Maya Angelou once said, when reflecting on her childhood, that her mother left an impression like technicolor stars in the midnight sky. Influenced by these words, Summer blogs at her website Motherhood in Technicolor, and can also be found on her Motherhood in Technicolor Facebook page.

Facebook